Oops, I Ran Through Shower Time

 It seems Texas weather pulled a fast one on us Texans again.  While I was running in 70* weather a few days ago, this greeted us today.  It isn't really all that cold, but the wind has a way of cutting to the bone and making it feel so much colder than even the wind chill claims.

I actually briefly thought about doing a run outside, heading due north into the wind, and then turning around and letting the wind blow me home.  Ultimately, heading to the gym and the treadmill won out.  It was time to mix things up with the hill function anyway.

I didn't get much sleep last night, an occurrence that's becoming all too frequent lately.  I really wasn't feeling all that inspired today, but I forced myself to go.  Lately my days at work have been so incredibly busy that running after a 12 hour shift of chaos hasn't really been an option.  Since I work 3 days a week, every day off has to have a run or I just don't get enough runs in.

When I started my workout, I started at a walking pace.  It's something I rarely do, but my legs were so cold that I was worried I'd hurt myself.  And since I was running for time rather than distance it felt amenable.

What I didn't expect was how utterly fantastic I felt.  I had planned on a 3-3.5 mile run using the hill program on the treadmill.  When 3 miles passed, and 3.5 miles approached I didn't want to stop.  I felt so, so good.  So I extended the workout to an hour, and let things roll.

As you can see, I went just a bit further than intended.  This is either the farthest I've ever run, or nearly so.  The crazy thing is that I felt like I could keep going indefinitely.  The stupid treadmills at my gym will only allow 1 hour workouts, after which you have to reprogram the thing all over to get started again.

It's probably a good thing though, because what I hadn't thought about was the fact that I had calculated out enough time to get my run in, return home, shower, and have time to go pick my son up from pre-K.  Except I ran straight through shower time.  So I ended up going directly from the gym to get my son.

You should have seen all the wrinkled noses and sideways glances I got from the Mommy Mafia.  Like I didn't already know that I was on the damp and smelly side of things.

I know that today's run was a reward for all the runs that I've struggled through, and bad days where I felt like I was dragging around a boat anchor.  We all get these amazing runs from time to time.  But I sincerely hope that maybe this is a sign of things to come as a result in my new direction in diet and attitude.  I mean I've had really great runs in the past, but I haven't ever run an extra 2.5 miles...

When was the last time you had a inexplicably fantastic run?

A New Day

A new day.  A new blog, with a new address.

Maybe a new me?

Well, maybe not a new me, but a new frame of mind, and a new attitude.

I've not blogged in a couple of months and as I last wrote, life was swirling about in crazy ups and downs that were frankly making me a little airsick.  I think I'm in a better place now--I certainly feel better.

I went ahead a imported my previous blog posts from Running Without Fear because as I read through them, there was some truth there.  And to delete them was to say they hadn't happened, and I didn't feel very good about that.

So, I think an update is in order.

In my weight loss journey, I was living from daily weigh in to daily weigh in, from calorie to calorie.  I was trying to eat the absolute least amount possible to not send my body into starvation mode, but wring out every last tenth of a pound on the scale.  Predictably, I often didn't eat (or drink) enough and my run recovery was compromised on a pretty regular basis.  But no matter, if I just pushed harder, worked harder I could push through and keep posting these mercurial gains time and distance.

So not healthy. 

I didn't really run in December.  And my eating went straight indulgent binge from Thanksgiving until New Years.  I gained back 14 lbs. 

In 6 weeks.

Throw in equal parts clinical depression, household stress, and that whole, "What am I going to be when I grow up?" question that unexpectedly arose from a colossal failure...and well...things weren't pretty.

I wish I knew what pulled me out of my funk.  I'd bottle it and save it for later.

But, things are different now.

First, I've gotten back into running regularly now, and life is always just a little bit better when I'm putting in some miles each week.  I went ahead and set a mileage goal for the year.  Following advice from an excellent e-friend and mentor, Megan, I set a fairly conservative goal.  I'm hoping I blow it out of the water completely, but even if I barely eke it out, I like the feeling of commitment and purpose.  (I'm not going to lie, I also like watching the little updates in RunKeeper as I log my miles. #rungeek)  Having a long term goal like that really fits in with my whole shift in thinking.

I've changed my calorie goals to consistently lose about 2 lbs a week, and making sure I eat enough to cover my exercise expenditures as well.  I no longer weigh myself daily--now I weigh in weekly.  This means I can eat and drink properly to fuel and recover from my runs.  This puts my weight loss goal almost a year away, but frankly I'm good with that.

Race-wise, I don't see how I can possibly be ready for the RnR Dallas Half in March that I've signed myself up for last year.  But I'm going to keep at my training steadily and true--resting when I need to, and pushing myself safely.  If I'm ready, I'll run (or more likely run/walk/run).  If not, I really don't care.

Today I ran 4 miles for Meg Menzies and #megsmiles.  They were a slow 4 miles.  But I realized, "That's ok."  Meg was training for Boston, and I'll likely never be fast enough to qualify, but that's ok.  I didn't know Meg, but she was just like so many of us runners.  Likely she represented the best of most of us.  So today, my miles counted.  They counted for her, her family, and for every runner out there that feels the tremendously tragic loss of her death.

And in that vein, I have a new blog, with a new title and web address.

Clydesdale Runner.

Because that's who I am.  I am big.  And I am slow.

But I am a runner.

And for the first time in a very long time, I'm content to be who I am.

It's a new day.

Interview

As alluded to in previous posts, I interviewed for the Nurse Anesthesia program at TCU yesterday.

I'm happy to report I feel like the interview went very well.  I was nervous to be sure, but conversation was light, and words flowed easily.  I felt at ease enough to take the time to consider each of the questions and answer thoughtfully.  Rapport with the interviewers was excellent and they were easy to talk with.

In comparing notes with other interviewees on a post-interview tour of the facilities I discovered I received no questions of a clinical nature.  Each of the other interviewees had at least one clinical question designed to test the breadth of their knowledge from each panel interview.  The questions I  heard weren't terribly difficult, but definitely would require solid clinical experience to answer.  In my mind, the fact that I didn't get any clinical questions could come from two possibilities.  A.)  They didn't think I was worth the effort--which I think I can rule out based on the fact that I am (on paper at least) well qualified for admission.  B.)  They were satisfied with the clinical experience I bring to the table.  (I'm hoping it's this one).  Or, I suppose C.)  I dazzled them with my rugged good looks and charming personality and distracted them from asking the clinical questions.  The Magic 8-ball doesn't seem to agree with answer C. though.

My every interaction with TCU has been fabulous.  They are a wonderful CRNA program with the backing of a great institution.  Not to mention every single person I've met from the program is so nice!  Plus I came home with a TCU umbrella, two Horned Frog keychains, a TCU pencil for my daughter (who has a pencil collection), and two nurse anesthesia stickers.  How is it an interview where I'm supposed to be selling me to them has better swag than the last 5k that I paid to run in!?  If I get in, I'm so there.

Before my interview yesterday afternoon, I headed to the gym for an easy recovery run to clear my head.  I did about 2 miles at an easy pace.  The first two thirds of the run I treated as a progression run--starting slow and then progressively getting faster every few minutes.   The last third I forced myself to decrease the pace incrementally until I reached my original pace for the last couple of minutes.  An exercise in self-control, but a perfect low stress workout pre-interview.

I had set a weight-loss goal of 240 lbs even by my interview date.  The day before the interview I weighed in at 240.4.  So while I didn't make my number (ssssooooo close!!) I'm counting it as a win.  Because 37.4 lbs gone is a win no matter what.

Regardless, if I did well enough in the interview I should be receiving an acceptance letter via e-mail Monday or Tuesday. 

I may or may not be holding my breath until then...

Registered

I registered for the Dallas Rock 'N' Roll Half next March. Hoping this gives me enough time to adequately prepare.

I've set a tentative goal of 2:20 which I think is realistic based on where I am now. I would love to finish under 2 hours, but that may be a tad ambitious for my first half. We'll see where the training leads me.

Speaking of training, would be glad for training plan recommendations. I know of a few out there, but would like to hear your first-hand experiences.

Here we go...

People Watching, Milestone & 5k Taper

This morning I extended my distance for my long run from 4 miles to 5 miles.  I ran for an hour (12:00 pace) on the treadmill at the gym. 

It was an exercise in self control because I kept having the urge to turn the pace up.  But since I was going further than ever, I resisted to ensure that I'd still be in it at the end.  Likely I would have been just fine with some mild increases in pace to keep things interesting, and probably would have shaved a few minutes off my overall time.

It's interesting to me to people watch while I'm on the treadmill--I like to keep tabs on those around me.  Don't get me wrong, I will definitely whip out the stinkeye if someone boards the treadmill directly next to me when there's many other open options (drives me nuts!), but I do find it interesting to observe other people. 

It's like a little micro-community that forms, then dissolves, then reforms as time passes by.  Being on the treadmill for much longer than 30 minutes grants a perfect view of this.  It can be rather interesting because when you pass by, it can be impressive to see the guy that's pounding along at hefty pace decked out in all his workout gear. 

I've been intimidated by that guy several times in the past. 

But when you start spending time on the treadmill you discover "superman" only does a mile and done.  I'm not faulting anyone for the distance they put in, but rather I find him a lot less intimidating knowing that long after he's stepped off I'll still be running.

In fact it gives me a pretty good boost (and a small sense of pride) when I'm running, and somebody shows up, puts in their workout and finishes, leaving me still running.

People are funny. 

Like this morning, there was a woman on a treadmill in front of me and to the left a bit.  She just really didn't want to be there.  She started her treadmill, then stopped about 30 seconds later to fiddle with her headphones.  Restarted, only to stop to meticulously arrange her towel to cover the display.  Restart, then stop to adjust her shoes.  Restart, towel falls off.  Restart, headphones again.  Restart, then bathroom/water break.  I wonder if she's under the impression that she's putting in a workout?

I wonder what people see when they look at me? 

I wonder if I look as fat and awkward as I feel sometimes.  I hope that I'm earning at least a little bit of "street cred" when they see someone my size putting in the work to get it done.  Likely I'm far less conspicuous than I feel. 

Either way, I'm not stopping.

So this taper week.  Is there such a thing as a taper for a "just want to finish" 5k?

My plan is to take tomorrow off (because I work).  Then some sort of average workout on Monday--maybe a moderately paced 2.5 miles?  Then I work again Tuesday and Wednesday so I'll take those days off too, though I would normally put in at least one late night run.  Thursday I have an intervals workout planned--likely I'll do a repeat of yesterday's run alternating 1/4 mile intervals.  Then a rest day on Friday (maybe a short, light, easy run??)  Then race day on Saturday!!

Does that sound like an appropriate taper?  Please someone more experienced leave me a comment...

Getting a bit nervous.

It Was a Dark & Stormy Night...

The blizzard winds kicked up the 3-4 feet of snow when I set out on the course that was uphill both ways.  Did I mention I was barefoot?

Ok, ok.  Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration.

Regardless of the hyperbole, today was my first run outside in nearly 3 years.  The last time I ran outside (Turkey Trot 2010)  I don't really recall it being a particularly pleasant experience.

I got up at 5am to make sure I had plenty of time to run and make it back home in time for 1st day of school festivities.  I went to try out the certified 5k course that the hospital put together for the upcoming race.

Initially when I started running, I had a bad feeling about how things were going to go.  I felt all gangly and out of sync, and the ground felt really hard.  I was having to keep an eagle eye on Runkeeper because I kept surging up to a pace that there's no way I was going to be able to sustain.  About 5 minutes in though, I settled in--I started feeling relaxed and no longer had to constantly check my phone for pace info.

I'll admit that a 12 min pace feels a lot slower in person than it does on the treadmill.  I foresee running outside seriously propelling me forward in pace and distance.

Well, somehow I managed to make a wrong turn on a closed loop course and only ended up running 2.77 miles(??) at an 11:38 pace (with each mile split getting faster), but no matter.  I felt really good.  And next week, or maybe even later this week I'll head back out there and run the full course.

I was surprised how quickly my run went.  Compared to the treadmill this run seemed to fly by.  And it was nice being able to see landmarks, and my progress towards them.

I'm going to refrain from running outside for the next couple of days to make sure that my feet and legs are going to transition without pain.  And I may hit the treadmill this afternoon to finish off a few treadmill miles.

Overall it was very nice experience.

Even if the blowing snow made it hard to see my bare feet as I ran uphill both ways...

Each in front of the other...

Today when I started my workout, I felt terrible.  My knees hurt, I couldn't get into a smooth rhythm, even my belly bouncing hurt--something that I haven't even noticed before (yes I still have a belly, unfortunately, even after 28 lbs gone).  I thought back to my moment of clarity a few weeks ago, and forced myself onward with the promise to myself that if I truly didn't feel good, I would stop before I hurt myself.  About 5 minutes in, I felt right as rain.

So I kept going.

As each mile ticked by I picked up the pace.  The loose workout I had in mind was a moderately paced 5k, but as I planned each increase in speed, I wondered if I might just push past that goal.  It was an effective strategy, because I ran 4 miles today.  Yet another half mile past my previous best last week.  The workout broke down like this:

Mile 1:  12:00 pace (5.0 mph)
Mile 2:  11:06 pace (5.4 mph)
Mile 3:  10:43 pace (5.6 mph)
Mile 4:  10:00 pace (6.0 mph)

Total time:  43:43
Avg pace:  10:56 pace

I think.

I figured that out based on what speeds I set the treadmill for...and then did the math.  Let me know if it looks wrong.

It was tough.  Not going to lie, especially pushing myself at 10 min pace for the last mile.  But my wife finished up her workout and came to check on me at just the right time, about 4 minutes left, so that was a boost for me at just the right time.

Anyway, forced day off tomorrow because of work.  Then a late evening run on Sunday after work.  Tough work schedule this week getting in the way of my workouts.  Work 2, off 1, work 2, off 1, work 2.  But then a few days off.

My work is putting on a 5k and a half marathon on Saturday, September 14th.  I'm contemplating running the 5k...

Without Fear, right?

Measurable Returns

“When health is absent, wisdom cannot reveal itself, art cannot manifest, strength cannot fight, wealth becomes useless, and intelligence cannot be applied.” ― Herophilus 

I went in to my primary care physician's office for a check up a few days ago.  I knew that my weight loss could only be a good thing, but I didn't expect to see changes in other measurable ways as well.

For example the last time I was in, my blood pressure was 132/84--which isn't a horrible number, but not exactly great either.  This time it was 114/70--a number I'm actually a bit proud of considering the stress of my job, parenting, and upcoming life changes.

Last time (although I don't remember specific break down numbers) my total cholesterol was in the 190ish range.  Again, not scary, but not fabulous either.  This time my total cholesterol was 139, the Mayo Clinic says that less than 200 is desirable.  My HDL is 49 which is in the "better" category (>60 is desirable).  My LDL is 79, <100 is ideal for someone at risk for heart disease, <70 is ideal for someone at high risk for heart disease.  My triglycerides were 57, <150 is desirable.

It's nice to see numerical data to back up what I feel.  Because overall I feel much healthier than I did just 5 weeks ago when I started counting/restricting calories and running again.

So if you're just getting started, or looking for a reason to get started, the above data shows that even 35 days of healthy eating and exercise can seriously and measurably impact your health.

There is still room for improvement.  I'd like to lose at least another 30 lbs, and possibly more.  I'd like to see my HDL >60.  I'd like to see my LDL <70 because being adopted I know very little about my familial risk factors.  There is a chance that I'm at a high genetic risk for heart disease.

Regardless, the sum of those improving numbers I hope equals added years of healthy living with my wife and kids.  It also helps ensure that I don't become one of the statistics at work with an MI and bypass surgery in my 40s.  Because take it from me--I see it every day at work--heart surgery sucks. 

What health benefits have you realized from running and getting fit?

Forward

“Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

Yesterday was supposed to be a rest day, but I ended up going to the gym and spending some time on the elliptical machine next to my wife to give her some moral support.  (Her lower back has been making it difficult for her to exercise the way she wants.  I ended up spending about 30 minutes there, and at a higher pace than I intended, so much for recovery.

Today I scheduled myself for a long(er) run, and I was feeling ambitious.  I set the treadmill for 3.5 miles, but I was feeling so good that about 20 minutes in I changed the time to an hour, for 5 miles.  I firmly believed that I'd finish all 5 miles--right up to the 3 mile mark.  For the first time I think I kind of hit a wall.  I was feeling good, and then, I wasn't.  Sheepishly I turned the time back to the 3.5 mile mark and held on to the end.

Usually post run, I'm able to recover fairly quickly.  By the time I get my treadmill wiped clean I'm back to normal breathing (although still sweating like crazy!) and my heart rate has dropped into the low 100s.  This time though, I had to be careful walking down the stairs to the main floor of the gym--legs were just a tad bit rubbery still. And I was just wiped out, sitting down in a chair in a daze.

At first I was disappointed in myself, but then I realized that a) a month ago I was running a mere 15 minutes at a time, b) a week ago my long run was 2.5 miles.

I just want so much more, and I want it now!

But I need to just pick up my little sword and let my heart pitter patter a bit.  And maybe, just maybe, enjoy the ride run.

“It was being a runner that mattered, not how fast or how far I could run. The joy was in the act of running and in the journey, not in the destination. We have a better chance of seeing where we are when we stop trying to get somewhere else. We can enjoy every moment of movement, as long as where we are is as good as where we'd like to be. That's not to say that you need to be satisfied forever with where you are today. But you need to honor what you've accomplished, rather than thinking of what's left to be done.” ― John Bingham, No Need for Speed:  A Beginner's Guide to the Joy of Running.

Another "mile"stone.

I had to work the last three days, so I've been away from the gym.

I'm an ICU nurse, and that means working 12 hour shifts.  I know that everyone struggles with the same issue of trying to fit their runs into their busy lives; it's probably one the top "excuses" out there.  But for me, running after work means making a conscious choice to not see my children that day.  I leave before they get up, and if I run, they are in bed by the time I get home--especially as we taper summer bedtimes down in preparation for school coming up.

For my first 2 work days this week, I chose to come home.  On my 3rd day though, I chose the gym since I'll be spending the rest of the week with the kids.

But I will tell you, throughout all three days I found myself looking forward to my run.  In fact, I lusted after it.  I noticed I was crabby on the first two days of work, and looking back I wonder if it was because I wasn't going to the gym?  Could 5 weeks of running leave me that addicted?

Either way, by the end of my (very busy) shift yesterday, I was fit to be tied to get off the unit, and to the gym.  I was a little worried that I might have built things up too much, and sent my wife a text:  "I sure hope this run goes well since I've been looking forward to it for 3 days!"

Once I got on the treadmill (towel safely tucked into the cup-holder this time) and started running, I felt the tiredness in my legs and feet melting away into warm fuzziness.

It felt so good.

And I couldn't help but smile.

I was only jogging along at my base 5 mph, and I could tell--I kept bumping against the treadmill rail.  I made the decision to stay at that pace because I wanted this to be a longer run, and I didn't want to burn myself out too quickly.

Anyway, I ended up running a full 5K, which is a good half mile further than I've run continuously to date.

I know that on the spectrum of runners and runs floating out here on the blogosphere, it's an insignificant distance and pace.  And I feel a little silly trumpeting it as an accomplishment here on my blog.  But it was another small victory for me, and I plan to use this "mile"stone as a "stepping" stone to greater times and distances.

Do you remember your first 5K experience?

In Failure...Victory

Yeesh, if that doesn't sound counter-intuitive, then I don't know what does.

All I know is that I have two small victories to celebrate and claim for my own today.

Failure/Victory #1:  A couple of days ago I sent Dorothy Beal over at Mile Posts an email after reading her Meet Mile Posts page and seeing the massive, massive growth she's experienced as a runner in both pace and distance.  I was curious to understand (she's a running coach too) if anybody can experience growth like that, or if it's a matter of being genetically blessed.

A day or two later she sent me an email letting me know that she'd actually turned my question into a full on blog post.  I was at first surprised, and then very grateful that someone so rooted into the running world would still take the time for beginning runners like me.  You'll have to read her post to gather all the details, but one of the numerous big takeaways for me was the introduction of some speed work.

Well, it turns out I had unwittingly done just that very thing this past Sunday.  As I approached being able to run for 30 minutes straight at 5 mph, I thought I'd test myself at the pace I'd previously been able to sustain myself for 30 minutes--6 mph.  My plan was to run a mile at 6 mph, interspersed with walking enough to recover, and then repeat that as many times as I could.

Well, it was a miserable failure--it went horribly.

I wasn't able to run an entire mile at 6 mph.

And in fact, I was only able to run at 6 mph for 1/2 mile at a time, and then that required 4-5 minutes of walking to recover.  I was able to repeat the 1/2 mile runs only 3 times--ending my workout right about at the 30 minute mark.  So same time, less mileage because of more walking.

I had 3 days rest before I ran again because of work (I work 12 hours, and on my feet most of that) and then we entertained out of town company for a day.

Today I awoke with a food hangover after blowing my calories at a steakhouse with company last night.  It took a bit to get myself motivated to get to the gym, but after I got myself in the right frame of mind I could hardly wait to get going.

I started off at my usual 5 mph pace, and it felt...slow.  I kept bumping into the front of the treadmill.  I shrugged it off and settled in for a 30 minute plod run.  I started Pandora and blanked my mind.

The first realization I had that this might be a different kind of day was when I first looked down and half of my planned workout was already gone.  I was sweating for sure.  But I always sweat.  My breathing was well controlled, my legs felt good, and I didn't feel...tired.

I chugged on for another 5 minutes and realized it still felt too slow.  So I turned up the pace to 5.5 mph.  And 7 minutes later I was working harder, but I still felt good.  So I turned it up to 6 mph, and finished out my run, hitting my 2.5 mile planned distance a good 1 1/2 minutes early.  So I ran until time ended.  And then I walked a minute of my cool down, and then turned the treadmill back up to 4.5 mph and loped out the rest of my cool down, recovering nicely, while I ran.

Now, I don't know for sure that one session of "speed work" would make a such a huge difference.  Maybe it was 3 days rest.

All I know is something changed, and even if it was just the encouragement of a strong voice over the internet...I'll take it.

Gratefully.

Victory #2:  The needle that broke the haystack in getting me started back on the nutritional straight & narrow happened to be advice from a friend.  I have a pretty important interview coming up on Sept. 19.  The outcome could truly change my and my family's world.  In a strategy session with a friend he mentioned the only thing he would suggest for me to work on would be to drop a little weight if possible.

I totally agreed with his assessment, and had been flirting with the idea anyway.

I set a modest goal of dropping from 277.8 lbs to 260 lbs over the course of about 9 weeks.

Today, 4 weeks later, I nailed my goal.  260 lbs.  Then I had to pee and I weighed in again at 259.8.

Hellllloooo 250's!

I think I'll set my new goal at 245 lbs by Sept 19.  I don't know if I'll be able to do it, but it really doesn't matter at this point.

With the way I'm feeling now--so much better--I've already started winning.